Leia's Emo... or is she?

I noticed Chris Clemens' msname was leia's emo, so I messaged him: "that so cool." I suggested it would be a good name for an emo band or a blog post.

leia's emo says:
   maybe Leia's Emo could open for Alexisonfire
Dalevixander says:
   yeah...
leia's emo says:
   and the hipsters could cry along to the lilting strains of punk rock guitar

   But then I began to think, Leia is nowhere near as emo as Luke. And she's much too interested in politics to be emo, despite the fact that she's "whiny as FUCK." But she's not a flake, she's a doer, not a whiner. So I've compiled this hipster guide to Star Wars.

Princess Leia
PUNK

Qualifications:
         Unlike Luke, Leia is in the rebellion because of the Empire's oppression of the third worlds. While Leia's planet had "no weapons" she knew where to get those x-wings and y-wings when they needed to take out the death star. Being arrested also adds to her punk cred. Of course she has had to deal with criticism that she's really just an aristocratic politico, Leia proves her punk cred by offing Jabba and then a musical experimentation with FOLK music (FOLK, as you may know, was the original PUNK).

Luke Skywalker
EMO

Qualifications:
         Luke is a dreamer. In A New Hope, he's whisked away from the farmlife because of a flaky spiritual journey. Luke really only gets involved in the Rebellion because it might score him points with the girl he likes... who ends up being his sister, which is not so bad, since that's what most EMO relationships are probably like anyways. Fortunately, Obi-Wan introduced him to Figrin D'an and his Cantina Band and by the end of the trilogy he's mastered a Buddhist-like religion and is fighting to free the galaxy from suffering... kinda like the Beasty Boys. Of course, part of freeing the galaxy from suffering involves freeing the galaxy from suffering induced by/through EMO.

Obi Wan Kenobi
JAZZ

Qualifications:
         Obi Wan is just that cool.

Han Solo
ROCK STAR

Qualifications:
         Despite his cocky Mick Jagger attitude ("Aye dont haveta fuck-ing help you if aye doent wanna"), Han comes around and is able to draw a crowd to the charity concerts that Leia holds to bring attention third world debt-relief. Like Leia, he settles down later in life, which is a) good for the Rebellion and b) bad for his music.

Chewbacca
INDIE

Qualifications:
Chris offered this exchange as justification...

Han: Chewy your music is fucking unlistenable
Chewbacca: *ROAR*
Han: No chewy, you are NOT redefining the boundaries of rock

R2D2
???

Qualifications:
         Droids dig Kid Koala because he understands their struggle.

Darth Vader
METALHEAD

Qualifications:
         As Chris suggested, METAL is "menacing and deadly, but in a I-cant-take-you-and-your-metal-mask-seriously kinda way." Vader is like Metallica. He started out as an angsty teenager, and by the time A New Hope rolls around, he's really just evil by habit. Although I have to admit, Vader's METAL is far more interesting than the music from Anakin's NuMETAL days (thanks Corwin).

Yoda
CLASSICAL MUSIC SNOB

Qualifications:
Here's Yoda talking to Luke about music...

Yoda: How can you grow strong listening to music like this? Bad poetry. Heh. Square glasses. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are eeee-mowe. EMO leads to moping. Moping leads to whining. Whining leads to suffering. Don't give in to EMO.
Luke: But master Yohdah-
Yoda: No! Whine not. Do or do not. There is no [point whining about girls]

Yoda also disses METAL...

Yoda: Beware of METAL. Poor hearing is the first step along the path to the dark side of the Force.

He compares music to a Force that moves through all of us...

Yoda: You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

Although he prefers classical or jazz music, Yoda can hear the good in everything, even the ROCK.